#BOTW (Blog of the Week)….Transparent/Testimony Tuesday Blog Entry
I must say that the last 4-5 years of my life has been very interesting. It’s been a rollercoaster of nothing but lessons!! However, this last year and a half was a whole different ballgame as it pertains to maturing in Christ and seeing things I never expected to see or experience.
As I was alone driving in my truck the other day, I was in a worship mode as I started to think back on where I once was and where I am today. I started crying tears of joy because if any one truly knew my entire life story, you would probably question how I even made it this far had it not been for the Lord. You would not be able to pay me to even believe that this is where I would be today. I’m not just talking about my physical location and all that I have accomplished, but more-so in Christ.
I never thought that I would see the day where I have learned to be patient and trust his ways and timing for my life, knowing that he is the author and finisher of my faith and allows all things to take place, even trusting me enough to act according to my very own free will.
There are times where I want to give up and throw in the towel but then I’m reminded of his grace and how even at an early age, he blessed me to experience his salvation even though I decided to stray. However, my straying wasn’t in vain, as it’s actually what has in fact, helped me to become who I am today and afforded me an awesome testimony for the ears that are willing to hear of it.
Now, I’m on this new journey where sometimes burdens tend to get heavy. Not because of what I may lack physically or materialistically, but because there are things you expect that you don’t get a chance to truly experience. And I’m learning that, that’s okay and a part of the plan that had already been written. The higher that God begins to elevate, the more things that aren’t meant to be or take place, will fall off. Gravity holds you down and if you let those things keep pulling on you while you are being elevated, then eventually you can end up being weighed down by the things that are not where you are, but under you, giving them a chance to pull you back down also.
There’s a song that I have been singing all weekend and that song states, “I don’t feel no ways tired; I’ve come too far from where I started from. Nobody told me the road would be easy; but I don’t believe he brought me this far to leave me.” ? The more that I sung it, the more the tears would fall. This journey is far from over, and each time I think to give in, God sends a ram in the bush and also reminds me that he came as a comforter and will guide me through any tough situation. He lets me know that he’s allowing me to go through certain things so that I can see things for what they are and grow from it. I’ve learned that the toughest battle has nothing to do with what you do not have, places you haven’t been able to go, people who do or do not support you, the amount of money that is or isn’t in your account, etc; but everything to do with what God’s has in store for you as it pertains to his will for your life and how to make it to the kingdom.
I used to let the little things bother me and say absolutely nothing about it, but now, I take it and learn from it and self-examine to see what I can do to please God and not man. I take the time to actually talk and listen to his instructions. I steal away daily from social media except to post things as they relate to ministry only. I’ve gotten to the place where I no longer scroll through as much or at all. I log on and I log off. Why? Because again, there’s a method to my madness and I’ve learned how to limit myself from the things that either consume me through time or either can pollute my mind in any way, shape, or form. I’m not perfect, but I work daily towards doing better than the day before even if it takes me separating myself from certain people and situations. Sometimes, you have to know how to deal with the things that can sometimes be consuming until God helps you to overcome it.
In all of this, I’m learning how not to put the needs of others before myself (esp. if they aren’t my husband and children); how to say “No;” and how to focus on what God has in store for myself. There are things that I have been putting off for way too long, simply because I have been placing the needs of others before my own, or using my gifts to benefit others and sitting on God’s promises for myself without doing anything about it. There were times, even lately, when I needed direction to help get a jump on certain things and he sent total strangers and people from the wood-works to either provide me with a word, more than just confirmation, or even a helping hand without even having to ask; simply because I prayed and left the rest up to him. If we would just take the time to pray and listen no matter how long it may take, things happen!
Before I end this, I will leave you with this this last thing…..When God started opening certain doors for me lately, I got excited, but also full of anxiety (nervousness)! Things started to happen extremely too fast for me, or at least I thought. What doesn’t seem fast enough for one, may be too fast for you; but because of the patience God had already instilled in me, I was in no hurry at all. Things kept happening. There were even things I had no knowledge of how or what to do, and he provided the plan and the instruction through prayer and listening to his response; things I have literally had absolutely no skill on or experience with. There were times I’d mentioned I needed help to others and it went over their heads; so I prayed….and God delivered, but still yet, I’m in no hurry; just waiting. I’m literally just sitting on top of blessing after blessing after blessing, simply because I’m in no hurry to get to the finish line. I don’t want to release everything and become overwhelmed until he tells me to “GO!” I recently questioned his method of doing things and then funny enough he reminded me of the story, “The Tortoise and the Hare.” At that moment, I assumed that I was the hare (slow and steady)! Go figure. And then he told me that even though I may have put off things for other reasons beyond my own control, the truth remains that his timing is better than my own. So, I tell you today, based on my very own personal experience, do not get discouraged by what things look like for they aren’t always what they seem. If you have a true anointing on your life, then its more than just a simple act. God knows what he’s doing even when you don’t. Sometimes, it just isn’t any of YOUR own business until he brings it to fruition. The key to this is to not only to pray, but to listen and wait for the “GO.” It’s okay to be persistent. It’s okay to share. It’s okay to want something so bad, but in doing all of this, make sure that you are patient and that your gates (eye, ears) are guarded, yet clear to see or hear! If not, this sets you up for not only confusion, but also to do things not according to HIS will, but based on your own hype and feelings. God speaks, but sometimes we move faster than he speaks. Be patient. Wait on him and remember…..Slow & Steady wins the race!!!
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